I Set My Mind To . .

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Funny how I’ve always been taught, “you can do whatever you set your mind to.” Yet, in doing even the simplest of things, namely taking care of my home, I struggled.  The truth is, my mind nor my heart was in it.  I was focused on other things, good things mind you, mostly ministry and creating an income for my family, but nonetheless my mind was elsewhere, and we all know where are thoughts are there is our heart.

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21

I am grateful for how quickly things can change, for the fact that I can set my mind to changing and I can do it. For the fact that I can call on friends to pray, they do so and I feel their prayers. My heart and my mind and my treasure are in a much different place than they were a few weeks ago and for that I am grateful.

Thank you Lord for being a God of second, third and fourth chances and thank you for allowing me to do. . . whatever I set my mind on.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

I’m Not Perfect

I feel like everyone around me sees me as perfect, or at least they see me as always “striving” to be perfect.  In all honesty that’s the way I’ve been living for too long.  Striving … to be perfect . . to be what everyone else wants me to be, even what I thought I wanted to be, but not ever giving myself a chance or an opportunity to just be, to live, to breath.

My whole life I’ve been living up to perfectionist standards, but I am finally giving in and quitting that rat race.  God has been speaking to me for a long time about giving up perfection.  Unfortunately for me, I haven’t listened, at least not until now.  I am officially quitting the rat race, no more chasing after too many things and never giving everything what it needs.  No more sacrificing my family for my own desires, I am finally realizing what God desires most from me, and that is to just be.

Tears rolled down my face when I finally realized that what I need more than anything is to give in to God’s promptings to be – be a wife, be a mom, be me. That means I’m giving up some of what I feel called to, what I love, but I know it won’t be forever, but for a time it is going to be necessary.  Because I love my husband and my children more than  that. I’m giving up spending so much time pouring myself into Beauty by Design.   I will still speak on occasion, but the blog, newsletter and products aren’t going to be what I pump myself into each day anymore.

As I’ve been seeking to find ministry to do and running myself ragged trying to do it, it’s been right under my fingertips all along and I have sadly been ignoring it too much of the time, or at least giving it my second best.  Just recently, I told a lady in my church I could no longer serve in a position because I didn’t want to give it less than 100%, but I’ve been giving my family less than 100% of me for a long time.  {gasp} Did I just say that?  Yes I did because it is true.

No more.  I have admitted my wrongs to my husband, I’ve admitted my wrongs to God and now I’m admitting my wrongs to you.  First things must come first,  I’m not perfect, but I am committing myself to God, to my husband and to my babies, fresh and new.

I’m Passionate, Not Perfect

Photo by flaivoloka

Sitting in the hairdressers chair this morning it became even more apparent, though it didn’t have anything to do with getting my hair done. No, it had more to do with the conversation taking place. My hairdresser, a friend of mine, is also in ministry, she sings in a gospel quartet, next to her in the other hairdressers chair sat a pastor’s wife who has spent much time in ministry, and is a freelance writer herself. The three of us were in deep conversation about the what we do. How ministry “jobs” come along, speaking opportunities, invites to sing, and opportunities to write, how there are peaks and valleys, ebbs and flows, but how much we enjoy what we do.

As I sat there and poured out my story to the pastor’s wife, who wasn’t aware of what I have been doing for the past 2.5 years I felt it, that sense of “knowing” once again that THIS is my calling. This is my passion. Yesterday, I read this quote on a fellow blogger’s blog and it struck me deeply, Thanks Holley –

“It seems God values passion more than our idea of perfection. That doesn’t mean following our feelings but rather pursuing Him relentlessly and refusing to become passive.”

How wonderful it is that God is more concerned about my passion, and passion I have!  I’m also proud to continue pursing Him and doing whatever it takes.

A Year of Firsts

This year I have been led to focus on wisdom and to follow after GOD to become a wiser wife, mom, and woman. I have seen already that this will me new things for me. I have noticed too that this year will be more focused inward and on my family than on my business and ministry which I have spent the bulk of my focus on for the past 3 years. The Lord is showing me that the time I spent on my business and ministry has been well spent and it has brought me to the point where I am today. That point is being able to delegate more and be more “hands off” with my business especially. This is what has resulted as a result of my hard work for the past 3 years.

As a result, I’ll be spending more time on personal and family things this year. One of those things on a personal level is “exercise”. I have not exercised consistently since high school. I have found the 10 minute cardio workouts I have done for 3 days challenging, but I am not giving up!

Secondly, is healthy eating, I’ve never thought I needed to “diet” because I don’t struggle with weight issues (thank the Lord), but I do need to eat healthier and be more aware of what I am eating. My husband needs this as well, so we are on a mission to eat “healthier”.

These are the main things that are firsts for me this year. What about you, are you changing your lifestyle in any way. Tell me about it!

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