How Can I?

Welcome back!

How can I quit writing on this blog?  Over 800 posts and yet I haven’t written in over a month.  I know, I know. . . you know honestly here’s the deal, when you have as much on your plate as I do, frankly something slides off.  As of now, it’s been this blog, in the past it has been one thing or the other.  I can’t promise what it’ll be tomorrow, except it won’t ever be my God, my kids, or my husband.  Those things all stay on my plate no matter what.

I still want to write in this space, but right now . . . life seems to be getting in the way. . .

It’s work, which is going really well . . . the business of Creative VA Partner is really taking off.

My kids are with me 24/7, which I LOVE, but it is time consuming.

My house is a constant project, laundry, dishes, mess oh my!

What about you? What have you been up to?

I’m Not Perfect

I feel like everyone around me sees me as perfect, or at least they see me as always “striving” to be perfect.  In all honesty that’s the way I’ve been living for too long.  Striving … to be perfect . . to be what everyone else wants me to be, even what I thought I wanted to be, but not ever giving myself a chance or an opportunity to just be, to live, to breath.

My whole life I’ve been living up to perfectionist standards, but I am finally giving in and quitting that rat race.  God has been speaking to me for a long time about giving up perfection.  Unfortunately for me, I haven’t listened, at least not until now.  I am officially quitting the rat race, no more chasing after too many things and never giving everything what it needs.  No more sacrificing my family for my own desires, I am finally realizing what God desires most from me, and that is to just be.

Tears rolled down my face when I finally realized that what I need more than anything is to give in to God’s promptings to be – be a wife, be a mom, be me. That means I’m giving up some of what I feel called to, what I love, but I know it won’t be forever, but for a time it is going to be necessary.  Because I love my husband and my children more than  that. I’m giving up spending so much time pouring myself into Beauty by Design.   I will still speak on occasion, but the blog, newsletter and products aren’t going to be what I pump myself into each day anymore.

As I’ve been seeking to find ministry to do and running myself ragged trying to do it, it’s been right under my fingertips all along and I have sadly been ignoring it too much of the time, or at least giving it my second best.  Just recently, I told a lady in my church I could no longer serve in a position because I didn’t want to give it less than 100%, but I’ve been giving my family less than 100% of me for a long time.  {gasp} Did I just say that?  Yes I did because it is true.

No more.  I have admitted my wrongs to my husband, I’ve admitted my wrongs to God and now I’m admitting my wrongs to you.  First things must come first,  I’m not perfect, but I am committing myself to God, to my husband and to my babies, fresh and new.

My Love of Reading Recap

This week I”ve been blogging about books. I wonder sometimes if I don’t read less because of blogging and blog reading. Anyone else feel that way? Oh well, there are some amazing bloggers out there who are a joy to read as well. Some of my all time favorites include:

Simple Mom
Adventures in Babywearing
The Organizing Junkie

Some of my new found loves are:

Pleasing to You
Like a Warm Cup of Coffee
Women Living Well

What are your favorite blogs?

Remember to read and comment on all of this week’s blog posts.

What Books Would You Recommend
Some Favorites on My Shelf
I’m Currently Reading

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