Is Approval Addicting to You?

Welcome back!

I think it might be addiction, in fact I’m almost certain it is which is why I have read a book on the topic before, that book was called “Approval Addiction” and I truly believe I may be addicted to approval.  Mostly the approval of others, sometimes sadly even those I do not know personally.

Right now we are experiencing some financial woes, it is not anything new.  As a freelancer my income goes up and down and is never “consistent” to add to that my husband is now being paid bi–monthly rather than once a month, while we believe we’ll like this arrangement once we get used to it for now it is a bit scary.  Mostly because we have two big bills at the beginning of the month.  We do have debt unfortunately and without my income we wouldn’t be able to pay on it period.

This weekend I went to a few “message boards” that teach and speak of frugal living and getting out of debt as a source for information, unfortunately because of wanting to “please” those people I get into a long drawn out conversation via message board.  Sadly, I feel that they twisted and turned my words and my situation until it wasn’t even something I recognized.  Why do I allow myself to be drawn into this?  Why do I even care?

My husband and I also had lengthy conversations this weekend about his expectations from me.  One of the main things he wants from me is an “orderly” house.  Notice I didn’t say clean.  I am NOT a good housekeeper, I know this, he knows this and so we’re hoping “orderly” Is a happier medium.  I am a pretty organized person, but I’m also a bit “messy”.  Not sure that even makes sense, but if you knew me as well as my husband does, you’d understand.

This past week has been a week of soul searching for me and while I want to be “approved of”, I certainly don’t want to try and please everyone because obviously everyone’s out look is different and people certainly see your situation differently than you see it yourself.

I’m grateful for a Godly person whom I spoke to on the phone a week ago, because she listened to God and as a result spoke to me through this Godly influence I have been making some changes in my life.  I hope that it is only wise and Godly wisdom such as hers that I listen to and that I will seek God’ approval above the approval of others.

Can you tell this really bothers me?  Have you ever dealt with this type thing?  Share it with me.

We Learn the Hard Way

Is it just me, or do we sometimes have to learn, the hard way?  I know that I spend a lot of time on the computer.   As most of you know I work online and therefore spend a great deal of time on the computer.  In addition, I have accumulated a good many friends online that I “socialize” with throughout the day on Twitter.  For me, it’s second nature and I don’t think much about it, or at least I didn’t until last night.

We spent the night before Valentine’s Day with friends, 4 other couples in fact that we like to get together with often, friends from church who we admire and respect.  One of them is the youth and children’s director at our church, he was going to be planning a Valentine’s banquet for our church that was held tonight and was going to be doing his version of the Newlywed Game at the banquet, so last night, he wanted to “practice” on us.  He did and the game was a ton of fun.  Unfortunately for me, it was also very “telling”.  One of the questions posed to the husband’s was, “what one habit does your wife have that you cannot stand.”  My husband had written down his answer and I then had to “guess” what it was.  As much as I hate to admit it, I knew the answer right away.  He hates that I stay on the computer so much.  Of course, I was dead on.  I practically hung my head in shame.   The truth, as we all know, “hurts”.

This is something I knew but was not taking to heart.  Mind you I will now.  I told him this morning I was making a new rule for myself.  I won’t be on the computer when he is home unless it is absolutely necessary for work.  He was so sweet to say, “I didn’t mean you couldn’t be on it at all.” But, nevertheless I realize I must set limits.

I tweeted about this earlier today and several ladies agreed that their husbands would say the same thing.  Would yours?  Maybe we can hold each other accountable.

Communicating with My Husband Via Cell Phone

Continuing my cross blog conversation with Amy from Family On the Phone.com She asks,

Now Alyssa, tell me about your husband’s cell phone use? Did he ever get another Blackberry like you did or has he stuck with his Nokia Flip Phone? How important is your cell phone to communication with him?

I am pretty glad I took a few days to answer this question, because now my answer is more meaningful than it would have been a few days prior. Starting on Thursday my husband began helping with the search for an escaped convict. He is a probation / parole officer which is a state position and is often out “Searching” for parolees, but this time he was involved in a manhunt for an escaped prisoner. He ended up searching for him for over 24 hrs with little to no sleep.

Meanwhile, I am home with 3 children. Having him have a cell phone, even though it was his Nokia flip phone, was a luxury. He was able to text me and let me know he was ok and keep me up to date on his status. I am thankful for our cell phones and the ability it gives us to communicate. Most of the time we text rather than call, but we do call each other at least once a day on the phones.

Now, it’s my turn to ask Amy a question.

Amy, I know you have older children. Do they all have cell phones? How do they play into your communication with your children.

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