I Listened

Welcome back!

The last few days I have felt this overwhelming feeling of anxiety.  It was a feeling I just could not shake.  Now, I am normally an anxious person, having suffered from an anxiety disorder most of my life, however I have generally learned how to handle it and therefore don’t really have to deal with it too often. So, it has bothered me that I couldnt’ shake it.

Mostly, my anxiety as probably 99% of Americans may be having these days is over money.  I worry about the debt we have, the money we don’t have, etc. etc.  However, I felt there was more to it than just that. I felt that God wanted me to take some type action and I was unsure of what that action was.  Until today, when I kept getting this overwhelming urge to cut up my credit cards and to handle my overdue credit card bill.  I did both!  Cut up the cards and made payment arrangements on the bill.  It was a huge relief, but that wasn’t the best part.

photo credit: °FlorianThe best part came when I went to check the mail.  In the mailbox was a large white envelope, and inside was an offer from a publisher to publish my book idea.  The note was handwritten.  To me it was as if God himself wrote it because it was confirmation that I had done what God was leading me to do in cutting up the cards. I am on His path.  He is listening to me, He is speaking to me and yes, I am listening!

Pinching Myself

I am still pinching myself because after this past weekend I realize dreams really can come true.  God not only confirmed in me but once again I felt him calling me to a higher purpose, a purpose only he can establish and a plan only he can orchestrate.  You see in the months before I signed up to attend She Speaks I began conversing with Leann Rice, Executive Director of Proverbs 31, and She Speaks Conference Coordinator, as well as Kristen Sigmon and Samantha Reed who work with The Next Generation, Proverbs 31’s teen division about becoming a part of the work of this division of Proverbs 31 Ministries.  After all teens are my heart.

Before coming to the conference these ladies said that we’d get together while I was there to talk about the possibility of my becoming involved with the Next Generation.  As a part of this I began back several months ago submitting devotions to them for publication on their blog for teens, A Radical Revolution.  I have had a couple of these devotions show up there already.

So, as soon as I arrived at the conference, I met Leann, mind you for the purpose of actually being able to stay there overnight as the hotel apparently thought I was coming in on Friday rather than Thursday, but sweet Kristen, willingly gave my husband & I her room, this only begins to tell you what kind of people these ladies are.

Leann assured me then and there we’d meet this weekend, but it might not be that night since her schedule had her working late.  I have to admit some doubts crept in as I began to worry, “do they really want to talk with me?”  But, at lunch on Saturday I sat pinching myself as I had lunch with Leann, Kristen and Samantha and was asked to share about the ministry God allows me to do with teen girls, my calling, my testimony and my desire to work with them.  It was an awesome few moments, one of the highlights of my weekend.  As I stared into the eyes of Samantha and Kristen as they obviously felt my same passion for youth, specifically teen girls I felt an instant connection.  As I shared with them, I had seen the Next Generation girls, those teen girls who attended the conference walking around and felt a strong urge to “follow them” as I have such a passion for sharing with and ministering to teens.

Not only did Kristen, Samantha and I have an instant connection, but I was also told by Shari and the other members of my speaker evalution group that they could see my passion for teens as I spoke.  Confirmation yet again, and I am sooo excited that Kristen, Samantha, Leann and I agreed to stay in touch as God’s plans for the Next Generation grow and come into being I will continue to be a part.  I can only imagine what God has in store, as just being able to be a part of this in any small way is a fullfilment of the dreams God has planted in me.  One thing is for sure, I will be back at She Speaks next year and I hope to be able to be a part of The Next Generation track there in some way.