CBC: Carrie, The Natural Mom Asks about Motherhood
by Alyssa Avant on November 12, 2007
in Misc
Welcome back!
I am loving having this CBC (cross blog conversation) with Carrie Lauth .
It is so much fun and Carrie had answered my most recent question, “How do you juggle 4 kids and a business?” Go here to read her answer.
Now, Carrie asks me “How has having children changed your life? Is motherhood different than what you imagined?”
Carrie,
Wow! That’s a question I had to sit here and go “hmmmmmm” for a while on. I have to say that this answer requires some background information about me because you and many of my reader’s might not know my “life story” so I’ll give you a shortened version. I have always been a person who attempts to juggle many things, hence why you called me “the juggler” in your last post and why I dubbed myself that name here on my blog. At the ripe old age of 19 (I know that’s not old, I’m kidding about the old part), I got married. I was fresh from my first year of college, had met the man of my dreams one year prior, and he had asked me that sweet, sweet question, “Will you marry me?” He is 7 years my elder and was ready for such things. Of course, I thought I was as well, always being a bit mature for my age. Even though my marriage is a “young one” it has been a fabulous one. Sure we’ve had financial strains and trials as every young couple but man have we learned to work as a team. Ok, now I know you didn’t ask me about my marriage, but “first comes love, then comes marriage, then here comes Alyssa with the baby carriage” at least that’s the way I was taught it was suppose to go and I am sooo glad I followed that little rhyme.
My husband and I waited approximately 3 years before having our first child. I was actually 23 when I gave birth to my son, Baker. I found out I was pregant with him, the Friday before I graduated from college on a Saturday. My goal had been to wait till after college to have children. I cut that one close huh?
Even though I was finished with college, I had plans to attend seminary and I did indeed in the fall, very pregnant, but I wouldn’t quit! I also attended classes with my 2nd child, my baby girl, Lily who was born almost 3 years later, in March 2007, I was 26 at the time of her birth. Now to better answer your question. Well, I never really thought I was ready for motherhood. My husband was the one who wanted children so quickly because he was the older one. I always thought, “shouldn’t I get this school stuff out of the way and get a good job?” As you all know my school and my “good job” working outside of the home is no longer my “top priority”. Having my children made me realize that I wanted them. I did not even know how much I would want children or could want them until I had them, now, I am like, how can people put other things in front of or ahead of their children in their priorities. How can mommas drop their babies off at a daycare every morning to go and pursue that all mighty dollar. I just do not get it. I would rather be poor than have someone else care for and love on my babies all day. I have come to realize just how special and precious and valuable this gift that has been placed into my life is, it is PRICELESS!
So, there you have it Carrie, motherhood has changed my priorities, and made me a better person, realizing that GOD’s plan is perfect and my babies were HIS blessings to me!
Now for your next question, “What did you see yourself becoming as an adult, as a teenager, and are you where you thought you’d be today?”
Thanks girl,
Alyssa
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I very much enjoy reading this cross conversation.
[Reply]
Very nice story, Alyssa. I do want to take a moment to point out that not all mothers that drop their children off at daycare do it to chase the all mighty dollar. Not all are as fortunate as you and would rather be home loving on their babies. There is a difference between being poor and surviving. A mother that loves her baby just as much as you love yours will do what is necessary to see that the baby has food, shelter, clothing and medical necessities when she is the only provider capable of such things.
[Reply]
Chele has a point – however in all honesty, I have yet to meet a mother who works outside the home full time who had to do so for survival. For most, it was to keep up a lifestyle.
Of course there are exceptions to that, but I’ve always said that I would do anything (legal) it took to be able to care for my babies full time. Not all women feel that way however.
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I think it really does depend on circumstances. Until my mother met and married my stepfather that adopted me, my mother worked 2 full time jobs while friends and family looked after myself and my brother. My biological father was a lazy, selfish imbecile.
Because my mother lived at home with her parents that were barely struggling to make ends meet for their own school aged children, it definitely was for survival. In those days, child support and welfare/food stamps weren’t as easy to come by.
You may be right about most being to keep up a lifestyle these days. I do know that the time I spent as a single mom, there were no extras or luxuries. I struggled hard for every scrap we had and did without many things I personally needed. I was not too proud to do what was necessary to ensure the children had basic needs.
Anyway, sorry to butt in on your cross conversation and make it a three way. LOL
[Reply]
Very nice story, Alyssa. I do want to take a moment to point out that not all mothers that drop their children off at daycare do it to chase the all mighty dollar. Not all are as fortunate as you and would rather be home loving on their babies. There is a difference between being poor and surviving. A mother that loves her baby just as much as you love yours will do what is necessary to see that the baby has food, shelter, clothing and medical necessities when she is the only provider capable of such things.
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