I am soo thankful for the time I have had to rest over the past few days.  Its amazing what good a few days of rest will do you!  I feel sooo much better.  Then, I have gotten my house all clean which is super nice!  Tomorrow I am having one on ones at my house for BeautiControl. I’m offering a summer sale to my clients and I have had 4 make an appt. to come and see me.  I pray that the sales are good.  I need the money to go to Celebration for BeautiControl at the end of the month. I know God will provide as this is important to my business.  I’m thinking much more clearly and am thankful for that!

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Still hanging in there

 

I went to the GYN yesterday.  Everything was fine there thank the LORD.  I began telling him about getting on the medication for my anxiety because hubby and I have talked about having another baby in the near future I was concerned about being on the meds.  He listened to the situation as he was asking how it came about that I got on them and everything and he said that he honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to get off the medication until I removed myself from the church and the situation there. I agreed with him on that and so many things that happened yesterday point to that.  THen today i have already had several phone calls from friends and family saying that they felt they needed to call and let me know that they were praying for me. This was just out of the blue and totally showing me that I am going to be taking that leap of faith.  I am trying to work my BeautiControl business making phone calls this afternoon.  I am doing a summer clearance sale.  If you need anything let me know!  Thanks! And thank you all for your constant prayers! Alyssa

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The committee and I met again yesterday.  They are going to go before the church on my behalf and let the church know what is going on, how I felt I had to resign because I had no help and support.  Then they will take our proposal before the deacons and try and get me some more money, support and respect basically is what it boils down to.  I’m not sure how its going to turn out, or even if all this is worth it.  But, I will at least get time to think about it as they are asking for me a 3 month paid sabbatical.  I hope that they do at least that much as I really need the time to think and weight the pros and cons. RIght now I am not thinking clearly and I know that I need time for everything to clear up in my brain!  I am wanting to do BeautiControl for the next 6 months and do a good job.  I’ve taken the 10% growth challenge and I need to do some great sales this next week!  I”m going to try and focus on that instead of focusing on church.  Getting my mind off everything will hopefully help my situation.  We shall see.  Again, if you’re a praying person pray for me as I have to go through this time and make hard decisions about the future.

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Last night, I met w/ the YOuth and Children’s committees to tell them I just could not do my summer program this summer.  And that I felt that I was going to have to resign as soon as Jim, our chairman of deacons returns from vacation in another week. He’ll have been gone two weeks.  Yesterday I went the DR. and told her everything that had been going on and the problems I continue to have.  She prescribed Lexapro and I am going to take that for a few weeks to see how it works.  I did NOT want to be on medication for my anxiety but it looks like it was absolutely necessary.  I have tried praying about this fervently, I have tried counseling since March, but it is still ALL I think about.  I squalled the entire meeting and the people in the meeting were very understanding.  They did not want me to regret my decision so they are going to ask the church to give me a paid sabattical.  That is if I choose to ask for that.  They will also ask the church for certain conditions to change once I return. I am planning not to return unless they do meet some of my needs.  I told them that I really needed a raise.  There are other things I know and I have to think long and hard about what they are.  I am going to make a list and we are going to meet again on Saturday to discuss it.  Please keep me in your prayers.

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It’s Official, I’m going to take that leap of faith. I am resigning this Sunday night.  I am calling a committee meeting to let those know first, I haven’ t decided if I”ll read my letter of if I”ll just let someone else.  I would like to but Greg, my husband, says he doesn’t’ want a scene or a big hoopla so to not do that.  I personally want to read it as I want them to know I’m sincere. I think I”ll ask the committee their opinion.  Greg can stay home that night if he so chooses, but this is something I have to do.  I am completely going to be relying on God to show me what to do next.  I cannot focus though with this weighting so heavily on my heart, it is just so hard to think of anything else.  I have steps to be taking in other things that are hard to do because of having trouble focusing.  Pray that this will stop after this is over and I have recuperated from it and VBS.  Thank you all for your prayers.

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